Sexual trauma, emotional trauma, physical trauma can all block us from accessing our true sexual potential. In the Authentic Tantra® modality, we call these “Blocks to Bliss”.
So how can you overcome these “blocks” and open your body to experience the ultimate bliss?
One of THE most common blocks to bliss is the inability to communicate during sex.
This fear of communicating clearly and directly about your pleasure, DURING the act of pleasure, often stems from the trauma of sexual shame and guilt.
When you aren’t able to communicate freely and openly about what you like, what you don’t like, what you’d like more of, it’s most likely because you aren’t feeling as safe and intimately connected as you would like to be.
You also, most likely, are not experiencing the most perfect pleasure that you could and would otherwise be experiencing, if you just felt brave enough (and safe enough!) to verbalize what felt best for your body in any given moment.
Sex is THE most physically intimate experience you can have with another human being! And yet, if you are unable to communicate with your partner about your pleasure (or lack thereof), that can be a pretty big block to sexual bliss!
One of the most beautiful examples of healing for me personally, and many other cisgendered women I have worked with over the years, has been the courage to express in WORDS (not moans), what I enjoy and what I would like differently DURING sexual intimacy.
These simple communications can open the doors to healing psychologically, emotionally, and sexually by:
A. Creating a bridge to deeper intimacy by communicating openly and vulnerably about your pleasure, and
B. Guiding your partner to your most alive pleasure zones and allowing your body to use that pleasure as medicine to heal, awaken, and open.
The practice of Authentic Tantra® gives us a variety of effective tools for removing these blocks to bliss. The 5 Principles of Sexual Communication give you a clear and practical roadmap for communicating about your pleasure in ways that are life enriching and mutually supportive.
The Five Principles of Sexual Communication are:
#1. Why we communicate:
- To support each other in experiencing the greatest pleasure.
- Because Tantra is a team sport!
#2. What to communicate:
- What we like and enjoy.
- What would bring our pleasure to a 10?
#3. How to communicate:
- With love, kindness and compassion.
- Using please and thank you – to show honor and respect.
#4. When to communicate:
- Often! To give encouragement and feedback.
- Anytime you really like something.
- Anytime you are aware that you want something different.
- Anytime you feel disconnected!!!
#5. Who communicates:
- Both partners! It is an ongoing dialogue for the rest of your lives!
When you are able to express your pleasure and desire for pleasure in positive, life-enriching language, those blocks caused by fear, shame, and guilt begin to dissolve.
That’s when you begin to experience TRUE union… you and your lover dissolve into one body, one heart, one mind, moving together as one breath, one pulse of life and love.
One of my Tantric mentors, Carla Tara told me that communication is the “bridge to intimacy”.
When you communicate about your pleasure during sexual intimacy you reveal your inner soul and create a pathway of love and trust between your heart and theirs.
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