I have been teaching authentic, lineage-based Tantric methods for sexual healing for over a decade, and during this time, a signifiant number of the women I have worked with believed at some point that their vaginas were broken due to numbness, pain and/or irritation during sex. I too used to believe that my vagina was broken. Then I learned about trauma and how it functions in the human body, causing desensitization, pain, and numbness.
In fact, lack of vaginal sensation is so prevalent in our culture that mainstream sex education suggests most female bodies aren’t even capable of having vaginal orgasms, and the clitoris is the key to sexual fulfillment for women worldwide.
Having gone through the process of restoring full sensation to my vagina and reclaiming my birthright to deeply satisfying, ecstatic, toe-curling and mind-bending vaginal orgasms, I am deeply offended by the suggestion that “some women just aren’t wired for vaginal pleasure”, and the suggestion that we should just “give up” and focus on the clit.
If a man’s penis was perpetually numb would mainstream sex education encourage him to just give up and focus on his balls, suggesting that not all penises are meant to feel pleasure?
Your vagina is made for pleasure. If you aren’t feeling pleasure there is a reason.
99% of the time that reason is some form of trauma or unresolved emotion stored in the genital tissue.
How can this be the case for so many female bodies? Take a look at our culture:
We live in a culture that encourages and condones sexual violence towards female bodies. The most recent rape cases in the US confirm that sexual violence towards women is considered a “minor infraction” by our justice system. And if you are a woman of color, this is even more pronounced.
Desensitized, numb, irritated, and painful vaginas are the natural result of living in a culture which teaches us sexual DIS-connection from infancy and provides pornography as the most prevalent and accessible form of visual sex education.
So what can we do?
First, we must understand what is happening and why. Then we can apply the correct “medicine” to heal it.
Sign up to receive our weekly Sex Is Medicine Podcast episodes delivered to your inbox every Saturday!
*The Tantra Mastery Training Program does not require approval by the registrar of the private Training Institute Branch (PTIB). As such, the registrar did not review this program.