If one believes that the universe is indeed everywhere, and we are all, in fact, “one mind” or one consciousness, then everything that we think, feel and DO, is in fact, a sacred activity.

That includes, and most especially is in my opinion, our sex.

Human sexuality is inherently sacred, and sex- be it with yourself or your partner- is by nature, a sacred and holy activity.

Just because we do not enter into each sexual experience as if it were a holy communion, does not mean that it isn’t inherently so.

Tantra is a tool for cultivating awareness of our true human potential, and this includes helping us cultivate and understand our true sexual potential.

Tantric Temple Nights are a fun and sensually enriching way to acknowledge the sacredness of sexual pleasure, and celebrate the beauty of sensual communion with yourself and/or another.


For those who are new to the art of Tantra, here are some of my favorite tips for creating a sweet and richly rewarding, Tantric Temple Night.


1) Tantric Temple nights should be created whether you are currently in a relationship or not. I recommend 1 x a week if possible. Twice a month should be your minimum.


2) Create the space in your life. Choose the day, choose the time, and schedule it in. I recommend doing it on a day when there is not a whole lot of activity, and you have plenty of free time to relax and enjoy yourself.


3) Spend the entire day doing things you LOVE. Connect with nature, go for a walk, have fun the whole day. By doing this you are creating an energy field of joy, pleasure, and happiness. Tantra doesn’t only happen in the bedroom. It’s a way of life!

Note~ Sunday is typically a great Tantric Temple day for me. If you don’t have one day a week where you get to just play, then try to make it at least once every 2 weeks. Self-care through play is super important!


4) Take pleasure in every activity, whatever it is. Commit to only engaging in activities that bring you pleasure for the whole day.


5) Start sex early, like 5 or 6 pm, and make dinner part of the event. Often people save the sex for last and are then too tired to follow through. Schedule your Tantric Temple Night for earlier in the evening, and make some yummy food at home, or order in. Light candles, play music, drink some wine…. think sensual succulence.


6) Take a bath or shower together by candlelight.


7) Create “sacred space” externally by enhancing the senses. Introduce things that appeal pleasurably to each of the 5 senses- taste, touch, sight, smell, sound. Play uplifting music for sound, use naturally scented candles or aromatherapy for the sense of smell. Make sure your environment is clean and visually stimulating. Use candles, flowers, artwork to enhance the beauty of what you see. Enhance the sense of touch with feathers, soft fabrics, silk pillows, massage oils.

Watch our video below on using the 5 elements to create sacred space!


8) Honor each other- Begin your session with appreciation & gratitude for one another. If you are playing alone, express appreciation for your self, out loud, while looking in a mirror.


9) Create sacred space internally with Tantric Union Breathing as we describe with a Self Pleasure Meditation from our Female Orgasm Intensive.


10) Offer some sensual touch. Sensual touch can include the genitals but is not focused on the genitals. It may include massaging the whole body with your hands, stroking lightly with fingertips, running fabrics along the body,  tickling with feathers, you name it. Be creative, be adventurous, and explore!

My book “Shake Your Soul-Song!” has a wonderful conscious sensuality partner exercise in Chapter 7.


11) Offer genital pleasuring with yoni massage or lingam massage.  You decide who goes first, but a general rule of thumb- “ladies come first!”


12) Make your love last with semen retention, Tantric breathing, and sexual communication.

Remember, sacred sex is not a race to the finish line. It is all about cultivating ecstasy and savoring the experience!


Watch our video about creating sacred space using the Tibetan 5 Elements!

P.S. This video is featured in Module 2 of our 6 week Tantra Masterclass for women, The Female Orgasm Intensive. If you love the visual beauty of this video you can see more of this deliciousness by clicking here!

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