communicate during sex

Buddhist Tantra Tips to Help You Communicate During Sex!

Did you know that communicating with your partner about your pleasure is actually an act of compassion? 

It’s TRUE! You and your partner WANT to bring each other pleasure, so the kindest, most compassionate thing you can do as a lover, is TELL THEM WHAT YOU LIKE!  Then they can do more of that!

Ongoing communication (before, during, and after sex) is a must, if you want to cultivate deeper intimacy and continuously explore in your relationship. 

My Tantric Mentor, Carla Tara told me once “Communication is the Bridge to Intimacy”, so here are 3 tips to help you communicate during sex…


These tips are based on the 6 paramitas/6 perfections of Tibetan Buddhist Tantra which are Generosity, ethics, patience, diligence, meditation, and the development of wisdom.…

Tip 1 – Be honest & open:

Think about everything that you enjoy! Everything that brings you pleasure and would make your pleasure yummier! (eg. more lube, different positions, speeds, strokes, and eye contact.)


Tip 2 – Speak OFTEN:

Use your words! Don’t expect your partner to read your mind! Anytime you notice you are thinking something, communicate it to your partner. Here is the golden rule: If you think it, speak it. 


Tip 3 – Be kind & compassionate:

Sex is VULNERABLE and precious! When making requests for change, use “please” and “I” statements, such as “I really like it when you do that thing….” Remember, this isn’t about focusing on what isn’t working. Rather, communicate during sex what you enjoy and get more of THAT!


This weekend, we invite you to give these 3 tips a try and let us know what you experience in the comments below 🙂


*Image from the Sex Goddess Project by Ricardo Scipio at

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