Vaginal orgasms are like the holy grail of sex.
They are so elusive to so many women that Western science actually states only 7% of women are able to orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone.
Before Tantra I too believed that vaginal orgasms were a myth, available only to the few lucky unicorn- type women roaming the planet.
Then I discovered these 4 Tantric sexual “secrets”, which support your body, mind, and spirit in having the vaginal orgasms your body is actually hardwired for!
Just to be clear, these techniques are from a modern approach to Tantric practice.
#1) Take your time.
For some reason mainstream sex promotes rushing to the finish line, i.e. the male ejaculatory orgasm, which can happen in as little as 2-7 minutes (WOW!).
Unfortunately, (or maybe not!) the female sexual arousal cycle does not function most optimally when you are in a big rush.
There is an ancient Taoists saying that “ A woman is like a large pot on a small flame. It takes a long time for her to heat up, but once hot, she stays that way for hours!”
This is in a large part because of our physiology.
Female bodies have just as much erectile tissue as a male body does, except that it is all INSIDE and, it takes a good 20-45 minutes for us to get a full, rich, and throbbing hard on.
Erectile tissue is a unique kind of tissue which fills with blood and then becomes very sensitive to touch.
When erectile tissue is not engorged or “tumescent” there isn’t a whole lot of sensation.
In order to feel the pleasure attributed to erectile tissue, it must be engorged- and the bigger and fuller your “herection”, the more pleasure you will feel.
The experience of being “turned on” begins this process of engorgement.
You can cultivate your “turn on” in variety of ways which are not explicitly sexual, such as:
- Going for a walk and connecting with nature
- Taking a hot bath, with candles and oils and music
- Sensual dancing
- Yoni Ball exercises
- Creating sacred space in your home
- Yoni Massage
- Sensual massage
- Sexy Texts
- Watching sexy video
- Reading erotica
These are all things you can do to “prime the pump” before sexual activity begins.
For those of you cis gender women in relationship with cis gender men- making the sexual intercourse last longer by practicing semen retention techniques will also allow your body enough time to reach full engorgement.
#2) Focus on sensation.
Usually I say focus on pleasure, but in this case I want to acknowledge that many women may not feel a whole lot of pleasure in their vagina to begin with (which by the way is very normal and does not mean you are broken!), so just being present with any and all sensation is the first step.
If you can be present and stay relaxed with whatever physical or emotional sensation arises, you will find that what was once numbness, pain, irritation, or tenderness will blossom into pleasure, which naturally evolves and blossoms into orgasm.
Your body is designed for orgasm, and orgasm is the body’s natural response to pleasure.
So pretty much all we need to do is focus on FEELING, relax, and get the heck out of our own way!
#3) Bring your clit to the party!
For some reason many women I have spoken to feel defective if they want to include clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration.
Well my dears, combining clitoral pleasure with vaginal stimulation is one of the techniques for cultivating blended orgasms, which are your birthright (and are amazing BTW!)
Combining clitoral stimulation with vaginal stimulation is actually a Tantric healing technique used to restore sensation to the yoni (vagina), and essential in my opinion to awakening your full orgasmic potential.
In fact, the more body parts you can bring online, the better.
I encourage you to also invite your breast and nipples, and earlobes, and labia, and anus to the party.
Quite literally, the more the merrier!
#4) Relax…and breathe!
So here’s the thing- vaginal orgasms often do not feel the same as clitoral orgasms, especially starting out.
Clitoral orgasms tend to be an explosive release, very much like a male ejaculatory orgasm.
We call this type of short, explosive orgasm a “climax”.
Climaxes are awesome, BUT your vaginal orgasm are generally going to be more expansive, yet can start out feeling very subtle, and are often described as fluid like, or wave like, or transcendent, or, or, or.
What does this have to do with relaxing and breathing?
Many women have shared with me that in order to have clitoral climaxes they need to tense their whole body, and hold their breath, and focus really hard on that tiny little point of pleasure.
This creates tension in the body and actually restricts the blood flow in the genitals, which is necessary for all that yummy engorgement I mentioned earlier.
The number one key to having vaginal orgasms is RELAXING and breathing to allow the energy of pleasure to flow through your vagina and your whole body, unrestricted.
Orgasm as we define it, is an expansion of energy- and it literally needs room to move.
Some tips are: open your mouth, relax your jaw, and breathe. Make sound, allow pleasure to be expressed through your sound, your breathe, your whole body! Your vaginal orgasm will arise naturally and effortlessly from this practice.
The female body is hardwired for pleasure. This is a fact. With four major nerve pathways feeding and nourishing the genitals, and five beds of erectile tissue, your vagina was built for pleasure!
The secret to pleasure “success” lies in understanding how your body, mind, and heart all work together as one unit, and utilizing methods to facilitate the most optimum experience for you and everyone involved.
Looking for a step-by-step guide to unlocking your full orgasmic potential?
Get the Female Orgasm Intensive and learn the art of using pleasure as medicine to awaken your full sensual potential