tantra for same sex couples

5 Step Tantra Practice for Same Sex Couples

We often get asked if same sex couples can practice tantra. And the answer is absolutely YES! As long as you are human and have a human nervous system, you can practice tantra.


In our lineage of practice, Tantra is essentially a form of energy-body yoga that can (and should) be applied to all daily activities, including sex.


The style of Tantra that we practice and teach at the institute consists of formal meditation, movement, connection, and pleasure practices. But the true goal of lineage-based tantra is for your practice to infuse every moment of every day, so that there is no separation between your practice and your LIFE.


Therefore, Tantra is designed to be practiced anytime, anywhere, and with any BODY with whom you feel a heart connection.


In the video below we demonstrate a tantric meditation practice for same sex couples that uses yogic breathing to entrain the nervous systems and align the energy bodies of both/all partners (yes you can do these practices as a throuple, quartet, or more!).


The posture demonstrated is called “Yab Yum”. This traditional posture in Tantric Buddhism essentially translates as “mother, father”.  This posture is traditionally demonstrated with male and female Deities, with the male deity on the bottom and the female deity on his lap.


The Yab Yum posture for same sex couples doesn’t have a specific set of rules. Whoever feels the most anchored and grounded should be on the bottom, and the other partner should be on top.


Here is the 5 Step Tantra Practice for Same Sex Couples:


#1. The first step to practicing tantra for same sex couples is to “assume the position” of Yab Yum.


#2. The next step is to make eye contact with each other. This beautiful face-to-face connection signals the ventral vagal pathway that it’s safe to be here…it’s safe to be present. 


#3. The third step to practicing tantra for same sex couples is to harmonize your breathing patterns, so you are both inhaling and exhaling at the same rate and the same pace. It has been clinically demonstrated that when two or more people inhale and exhale at the same rate their heartbeats will literally synchronize. 


This is called entrainment. It is a natural process by which our nervous systems are literally syncing up and working together in unison. 


#4. Once your breathing has been harmonized we suggest counting a minimum of 21 breaths in unison, counting off each breath silently in your head. 


#5. When you reach 21, or whatever number of breaths you agreed to, continue looking into each other’s eyes and share one thing you love, value, and appreciate about your partner.


When you are ready, end the practice with a deep loving hug and notice how you feel.


  • Do you feel more connected to your partner than when you first sat down?


  • Do you feel happier or more joyful?


  • Do you have less thoughts or mental activity?


  • How does your body feel?

Note how you feel, and if the results are positive, we encourage you to practice this OFTEN.


You can use this practice anytime, anywhere to synchronize your nervous systems (aka co-regulate) and deepen your emotional and energetic connection.


The tangible, visceral experience of love cultivated by your emotional and energetic union is your armor against a society that seeks to undermine and diminish your joy.


There is power in your practice of LOVE…use it wisely and for the benefit of all.


Watch the Tantra for Same Sex Couples Video below!

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